Remembering

Today I wanted to share with you all ways that I am choosing to remember our children and aid in the grieving process.

First a shout out to Sufficient Grace Ministries for the care package I received! It included a stuffed bear (specifically for women to hold when their arms are empty), a pamphlet on grief, and a memory book to write down all the memory's and dreams we had for our little ones. These packages are free to bereaved parents. This is a wonderful ministry with lots of resources and support.
http://sufficientgraceministries.org/support-sufficient-grace/

Secondly, I have a necklace that I wear everyday. It started out with the diamond ring my husband gave me on our first anniversary of dating. This past June when we made the decision to actively TTC I wanted to get something to remember our first child by. I did not want to jump into the TTC and pregnancy/baby world and forget our first child. So I went to our local Penelope. It just so happened that my mom was visiting at the time and we were able to go do a little shopping together and create memories. I AM SO VERY GLAD SHE WAS WITH ME! It is a special memory, and she was able to get a little angel necklace to wear herself. She and my dad have always been very good about acknowledging ALL of their grandchildren, even those that are not with us on earth.

I purchased an engravable heart and had "mommy of" on one side, and "angel baby" on the other side engraved. I added a small pearl to the necklace as a birthstone because our first child would have been born in June. I am a June baby myself and prefer the pearl to the dark purple, almost brown alexandrite stone. 

The week following the loss of our second child in October my mom was again able to go with me while I bought another small pearl, in memory of our second child. Our second baby would have been born in June as well. Our children would have been exactly two years apart. 

This is my daily remembrance of their little lives. 

What Makes A Mother I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today I asked, "What makes a Mother?" And I know I heard Him say A Mother has a baby This we know is true But, God, can you be a mother When your baby's not with you? Yes, you can He replied With confidence in His voice I give many women babies When they leave it is not their choice Some I send for a lifetime And others for the day And some I send to feel your womb But there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this God I want my baby here He took a breath and cleared His throat And then I saw a tear I wish I could show you What your child is doing here If you could see your child smile With other children and say "We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear, but my Mommy loved me so much I got to come straight here!" I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me I learned my lessons very quickly My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy oh so much But I visit her each day When she goes to sleep On her pillow is where I lay I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear "Mommy, Please don't be sad today I'm your baby and I am here" So you see my dear sweet one Your children are okay Your babies are here in My home And this is where they'll stay They'll wait for you with Me Until your lessons there are through And on the day that you come home they'll be at the gates waiting for you So now you see What makes a Mother It's the feeling in your heart It's the love you had so much of Right from the very start ~Author Unknown~